you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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