She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
