We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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