When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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