i think i have herpe
just one?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The Olympian is in my bed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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