Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
