I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
