Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
