he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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