Your tits are I can't wait for
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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