I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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