How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
