We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
