Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
