And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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