I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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