all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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