Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize