Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
