when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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