I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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