that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
