I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
