Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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