we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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