Farmville is her only friend.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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