so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
