I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
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This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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