I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize