He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize