I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
