my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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