Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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