btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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