you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
that may or may not have been my penis.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
