I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
