How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize