what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
