Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
