Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
