remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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