"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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