yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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