yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
