Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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