Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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