i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
