I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
