I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
