We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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