Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
