We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
