i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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