So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
