Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
