He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
