this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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