it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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