i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
