im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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