Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
