He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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