HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
