The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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