why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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