I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
