i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
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She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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